So if you’ve read my 30 before 30 list you’ll notice that I mention my “body issues” and my goal to try to introduce more Body Positivity in my life. I’ve always been very critical about my appearance and it didn’t matter if I was a size 12 or 20. I’ve never been truly content with my body, as a whole, and when I think about that now it’s pretty sad!
Over the past year I have been keeping an eye on the “Body Positive” movement and I know that there are lots of thoughts and opinions around it. What I love about it is that for what feels like the first time, there is a growing representation of all female bodies being shared across media.
Unfortunately my self esteem and body image took a real dent throughout 2019 for a variety of reasons and I felt I couldn’t quite regain my full confidence and awesome Amyness!
So one dark October evening – when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself – I saw an advert come up on my Facebook feed. A competition to win a free makeover and photoshoot. I’m always pretty pessimistic about these things so don’t normally enter but that day I thought – “fuck it, I’ve got nothing to loose!”. A couple of days later I received an email notifying me that I had only gone and WON – and within a week I was booked in for my pre-shoot meet and the photoshoot day.
What I haven’t mentioned yet is that it was not your standard makeover/photoshoot – It was a BOUDOIR photoshoot! (FUCK!).
Suffice to say that I had ALL the emotions running around in my head… you name it and it probably entered in my mind at some point throughout the journey.
I was very thankful that the guys at Moving Pictures Boudior are soo amazing and professional. You are looked after right from the word go. Aby and Keith really take the time to get to you know you so that you can be completely yourself and relax into the experience. I felt reassured throughout the whole process. The lovely Aby meets you in advance to go through what you like/looking for and gives you all sorts of tips including what sort of underwear to wear (with some interesting ideas I wouldn’t have ever have thought of). She also keeps in touch in the lead up to make sure you aren’t stressing unnecessarily!
So the day finally came – I was a bit nervous but mostly excited. I knew that this was going to push me right out of my comfort zone, but overall I was looking forward to the experience.
Once I had been glammed up by the hair/make up artist – it was time to get into my first outfit and start the shoot. As mentioned before, the guys at Moving Pictures Boudoir were so professional, you very quickly forgot that you were stood in a barn in nothing more than lacy lingerie!
It very quickly became very clear that all the things I would’ve expected to worry about (you know – being stood in a barn in my lacy lingerie) really were the least of my worries! I had to concentrate so much on the positions and instructions I was being given that there was no time to worry about my “ugly bits”.
When you are in a studio with people who do this day in and out – you realise that there is nothing to feel self conscious about as they have seen it all before. You also quickly realise that you are working with artists who only want to produce the best images – so you wont come away with anything that they don’t think looks good (they also check with you after each image to make sure you’re happy with it too). So it’s a win win scenario!
I came away from the shoot feeling incredible, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of seeing the results and then collecting my printed images.
I came home and cried – not because I was upset or sad – but I was so incredibly proud of myself for taking the opportunity. It feels like a wall in my head has been smashed down and I don’t need to hide myself anymore.
Now as much as I wish that I could just tick this one off my list, I know that practicing Body Positivity is going to be something I have to work at daily (especially when I’ve eaten my body weight in cheese this Christmas!). But having my images will remind me that even at my lowest – I was brave enough to put myself out there and the result was pretty awesome. I can’t stop looking at the pictures as they are beautiful and instantly transport me back to the day – which makes me feel fab!!
I’m soo glad that I entered the competition as it was by far one of the BEST experiences of my life! I would recommend that every woman does this at least once in their lifetime.
For those of you that can handle it, I’ve included just a few sneaky images from the day below – the rest are private! ;P
Thank you to everyone at Moving Pictures Boudoir for a truly memorable experience and for helping me get some of my awesome Amyness back!
