So I wanted to write a blog today talking about mental health and the perceptions on “how everyone is doing”. I also wanted to share some of the stuff I have recently found helpful when I’m at a low point.
I think it’s fair to say that everyone finds January a hard month to get through. This could be anything from lack of money, making yourself hangry because you’re on this new diet or struggling to establish whatever new years resolution you’ve set for yourself! We know that we set these things up with good intentions, but it’s just hard work sometimes – and I’m totally with you.
Now I can honestly say that so far my 2020 is going pretty well – but that doesn’t mean to say I haven’t had my own struggles and low points. You may look at my profile and think “damn she is smashing it” or “wow she is doing really well” and whilst I’m not saying that isn’t true (pretty proud of my achievements so far) – it just isn’t the whole picture.
I always find it interesting that we are more inclined to share the positives online and rarely the negative/difficult stuff. It’s totally understandable – why would we want to share that negative stuff? Don’t worry, I’m not about to waffle on about my troubles (I only bore my nearest and dearest with that – you lucky devils! :P). Besides, that isn’t what this blog is about.
But I do think it is important sometimes to remember that what you see online is only a snapshot of that person – and quite often the snapshot they want you to see. We are all very good at the comparison game and when we are feeling a little low – we forget to look at our own achievements and positives and instead compare ourselves to other people and how “perfect” their life is. It may be perfect, those positive things are happening which is great, but remember it isn’t the whole picture!
As you may have gathered from my previous posts – this year is the year I am giving zero fucks to the pretense (or at least it’s what I’m working towards). I have to be honest and true to myself so that I can work on being UN-apologetically me (30 before 30 list). So part of that for me is to acknowledge the fact that alongside the highs you will also have the lows, and that’s OK!
I’m an over-thinker, so therefore when I hit low points I can sometimes find it difficult to pull myself out. I’ve been trying a couple of things this month to help me with this and so I wanted to share them in case they might help you.
- Meditation – Now I have been very good and sticking to my daily meditation (Headspace) and I’m really enjoying it. I generally do it in the morning and I find it really helps to set me up for the day. It’s still early days so there’s lots I still need to practice, but I’m starting to become a lot more focused and present rather than letting my mind run away with thoughts.
- Journalling – I struggled initially to keep a hand written journal, purely because I found it hard to keep with me all the time and to write in – all seemed a bit of a faff. I then came across the app Moodflow and it’s really been a game changer for me. It’s so simple to use – just choose your emotion (by the smiley faces) and any words that reflect how your feeling – then you can write whatever you like. I’m a very visual person so I like the fact I can see an overview of my days/weeks in colour. I set myself 4 check in reminders throughout the day – but I also add in notes when I feel strongly about a particular emotion (good or bad). For me personally, it’s been so good to write things down, even if I don’t do anything with it after.
- Talking – they always say a problem shared is a problem halved – and it’s so true. Talking to someone, particularly about your worries, is so good not just for getting it out of your head – but to get a different perspective on it. Let’s face it – our own brains aren’t always on our side and often don’t give the most helpful advice.
- Positive distraction – whether it’s exercise, TV, reading, meeting up with friends ect. I sometimes find that I need to change my mindset to something positive. Granted it’s easier said than done, but if I’ve started the morning a bit meh – focusing on a positive activity is nearly always guaranteed to put me in a better mood by lunchtime.
- Letting the emotion out – I’m not always very good at this one, but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. If you’re angry – be angry, if you’re sad – be sad, if you need to cry – have a good cry. As I’ve been finding out more and more recently, it doesn’t do you good to keep these negative things in and they only fester and build up. Personally I find that once I have embraced whatever negative feeling I’m having – ride it out/process it – I feel a lot better after. The key however is to try not to linger in it, use one of the points above to help process it and then move onto something more positive.
So whilst it’s not something I would naturally share about on my social media, because I want to be spreading positivity, I felt this was an important thing to write about. Because sometimes we just need the reassurance that “it’s not just me feeling a bit shit”. But again, rather than festering in it, let’s do something about it. Because what fun is it to be miserable all the time? NONE!
I will just add that I know that for some people out there – doing the above may not be enough. There is so much more awareness now about mental health conditions and the services available are getting better and better. Some may need more professional help which is fine – you gotta do what’s best for you. I’m not suggesting that the tips above will work for everyone, but at the moment they are helping me and so maybe they will help or inspire someone else. The important thing is that you are making proactive steps – whatever they are – to help you “sort your shit out mentally” so that you can live your best life.
For anyone interested – here is a little snapshot of Moodflow. For me blue is an ok day, green is happy and purple is low. You can however personalise the settings to whatever you like.
