So how is everyone doing after yesterday’s lock down announcement?
Normally I would write about my month review and set some goals for the month ahead, but it just didn’t feel right given the new yesterday to brush over this lightly.
For some, I’m sure this isn’t a surprise and for others, it’s knocked them off their feet…just when things started to feel somewhat “normal” again I’m sure many like me felt like we were taking a backward step. For me I could definitely feel the tension and anxiety building as I was watching for the briefing…followed by a feeling of disappointment and generally feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I remembered back to the first lockdown back in March and I can remember how long I struggled, as I’m sure many people did. It was all so scary and unknown and none of us really knew what to expect. As I thought about this I felt very grateful for that experience, as it has taught me so many skills that will really help in going forward with the next lockdown.
Knowing my triggers
One of the gifts that I had from the last lockdown was that I was able to really dig deep in some self development and self exploration. It got a bit dark sometimes and I was forced to face some things about myself that I didn’t really like…but the good that came out of it…I now know myself so much better.
Why is this a good thing? Well it means that I can better understand my triggers, and foresee the things that are likely to spark my anxieties…and as a result bringing Alice out to play! Taking last nights announcement for example…I know that it would spark a big round of the “what if” game for Alice, with many things I just don’t have the answers to.
So rather than just brushing it all to one side and pretending not to worry, I decided to tackle it face on. I took the time this morning to write down all of my worries and what ifs (lockdown and otherwise…let’s get it all done in one go) and I then proceeded to work through each one. I took the time to process and acknowledge where that concern was coming from and how it made me feel, and then figured out if it was something I could plan for or something I had to let go of. Essentially talking to myself like I would a friend (don’t worry, it’s not quite as crazy as it seems).
Is this in my control?
So taking two examples from the list this morning, here’s how it worked.
- What if the gyms close? I’ve just got back into a good routine and I’m worried that I’ll fall back if I don’t have that to motivate me. Ok, so the fact that you’re routine is looking to be impacted is making you feel uneasy, that’s totally understandable. The decision of whether the gyms are going to close is completely out of our control, so we wont know anything until we get more information. What we can control is what we do in the event they do close…I know that exercise helps me maintian good physical and mental health…both of which I will need over the next few weeks. So we are going to make this a priority, we’ll create a new schedule and set ourself some fun goals to keep us motivated over the month. You conquered the couch to 5k in the last lockdown…so I know you can do this. It will give you a great opportunity to mix things up and try some new routines.
- What if my CBT test is cancelled? I’ve only just bought all of the gear and I’ll be gutted if I can’t do it. Again, the decision as to if this is going to go ahead or not is 100% out of your control! I know that you’ve been looking forward to it for ages, and it will be very disappointing if you can’t do it when originally planned…but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to do it. The bike gear you have bought won’t go out of date, and you’ll either be able to reschedule or get a refund if your test is cancelled so you haven’t lost out there. There isn’t really anything we can do about this right now, so you just have to be patient and if it gets cancelled you can look forward to doing it once the restrictions ease. It’s a case of when not if!
Letting go and shifting perspective
Now these are two seemingly simple and somewhat trivial things in the grand scheme of it…there were definitely things on the list that took a little more persuading and I’ll probably need to continue to persuade myself over the coming days and weeks.
The key here for me was to take a step back and see it from a different perspective. As someone who is a self confessed control freak at times…the idea of not finding a proactive solution to something is in itself something that makes me feel uneasy. I like to take action and have always had a “I’ll fix it” kinda attitude. The reality, is that sometimes there are things you just can’t fix or find a solution to as much as you want to. It’s hard, but it doesn’t diminish you’re value or worth…it makes you perfectly human. I’ve learnt over the year that I’m much happier and more productive when putting energy into something I do have control over as opposed to things that are out of my hands.
What do I need for those things out of my hands? Patience, perseverance and a little bit of faith. Things always have a way of working themselves out for the better, even if we can’t immediately see how it’ll better for us. This lockdown isn’t going to be easy, but we all have the advantage of experience…we have got through this before and we will do again.
So instead of doing my usual style of goal setting, I’m keeping things pretty open for November. I’ll write another post sometime next week about my new routines and some of the more practical ways I’ll be negotiating November…but for today I’m just going to let go of my need to control everything and just see what this month brings.
I’ve recently been gifted two very lovely books ( Be a warrior not a worrier, Elizabeth Archer and Resilience – How to Turn Adversity into Strength, Josh Floyd) that I think will prove to be invaluable over the coming weeks. They have lots of inspirational quotes and thought-provoking things that I’ll be sure to share but this one stood out for me today – I hope it helps you wherever you’re at today. Know that everything you are thinking and feeling is valid, and you totally have the strength to get through this! I believe in you! 😘
