Where do I even begin with this one…so for February, I set myself the task of reading The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters…who knew what impact that decision would have.
This book was recommended to me by a couple of friends when I was recently going through a hard time and I was struggling to deal with some stuff.
Now I think it’s fair to say that many of us indulge in some negative chatter every now and again. Unfortunately, mine has a tendency to overthink and spiral and it can have quite negative impacts on myself and those around me.
Getting into the right headspace
With any “self-help” book (and I have read a few) you always need to make sure that you are in the right headspace before you start reading.
The motivation behind reading a book like this is because you either want to change a behaviour, learn about yourself or improve a situation. In order to do that you have to be open to the ideas that are presented to you, reflective in yourself and your views and be honest. You aren’t always going to like what you find, but it is important to identify and understand these things if you want to learn and develop yourself going forward.
I was pretty invested in this book before I started reading, so I knew that I was going in with an open mind and ready to learn.
First impressions – wow – how are you in my head?
So this book is really accessible and explains everything really clearly, which helps because in the beginning there is quite a lot of content to cover about the makeup of the brain.
Once you have gone through the initial info – that’s where the good stuff starts. You are introduced to the various facets within your brain and you begin to learn and understand how these all fit together.
What Prof Steve Peters manages to do so well is identify traits and scenarios that are really relatable, there were many times that I read a paragraph and thought “this is soo me” or “I do this”.
It’s the first time ever I have felt inclined to write notes as I am going through the book – and I wrote LOADS of notes. I highlighted sections, added comments, lists and it really enabled me to engage in reflective thinking as I was reading it.
Practical implications
At the end of each chapter – Prof Steve Peters sets tasks to help you reaffirm or put into practice what was covered within that topic. Some of these I did, some I want to go back to and spend a bit more time going into a bit more detail.
However, even though I haven’t completed all of the tasks it is quite easy to start putting some of the tips and tricks into place within your day to day life.
In the book, you cover content not just looking at yourself, but those around you and your interactions with them.
Introducing my chimp…Alice
So the basic principle of the book is this – you have two different brains – one is the Human brain (you) and the other is the Chimp brain.
The Chimp brain is essentially the emotive side of the brain and acts to ensure your survival. It assesses for danger and whilst this is an important tool it can sometimes get a little out of control. The book works on understanding these two sides better so that they can work together as opposed to conflicting against each other.
Very early in the book, Prof Steve Peters encourages you to name your chimp – and so Alice was born.
Why Alice?
I’m sure you have all seen Alice in Wonderland. Can you remember the scene where Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole and is in what seems like a never-ending spiral?
Well, when I am in that negative, not so productive headspace I mentioned earlier – it often feels like I am Alice, in a never-ending spiral. Lost in whatever thoughts I am having and it can be really difficult to pull myself out of it.
Getting to know Alice – it’s a process
So some of you may have heard me talk about Alice already, and for those of you that haven’t I will probably be mentioning her every now and again where relevant in my blog posts and in conversation.
It’s still very early days – and I don’t claim to know everything about Alice or how she works. As I mentioned earlier there are lots of tasks and notes in the book that I want to go back to and explore further.
But what has been really interesting, is identifying those thoughts and behaviors in this way. It has really enabled me to gain perspective and be proactive in resolving issues that arise rather than overthink and beat myself up because I think there is something wrong with me.
The truth is, there is nothing wrong with me at all, it is just that Alice brain has kicked in. It’s important that I listen to her to figure out why she is playing up and what I need to do to sort her out. Sometimes the things she comes up with will be justified, sometimes not – but it is important that Amy (human brain) is in the driving seat and taking control.
Everyone has this chimp part within their brain, whether they are aware of it or not and it is nice to know that it isn’t just you that thinks in this way – and that there are ways to work with/around it so that it doesn’t take over.
Conclusion
This book has been a real game-changer for me and has surprised me in a really positive way. It’s enabled me to think about things from some very different perspectives whilst also going deep with some quite honest reflective thinking. It has been a really engaging read that’s relatable and enlightening.
By being aware of my Alice brain I have already noticed a positive impact and have been able to reduce the amount of worrying and overthinking I do. I’m feeling much more at ease and have a much more positive outlook.
Again, I’m not saying that I have it all solved and as we all know – mental wellbeing is an ongoing process you need to work on just like physical health. But I can honestly say that this book has been the best “self-help” book I have read and it has certainly given me a kick in the right direction.
Now I know that this book may not appeal to everyone and some may think that the whole idea of it is rubbish – and that’s ok, you do you!
But for those interested, I would highly recommend reading this book. I’d love to hear your thoughts and get to know more about your Chimp.