When I set out to “Sort my shit out physically” at the start of this journey…I hadn’t realised quite how much it would also push and challenge me mentally.
My goals in this area have been very simple from the start:
- Healthier me
- Happier me
- Love the skin you’re in
Seems so simple right? The challenge I keep facing is measuring my own success in these areas. It turns out that over the years I have built up some very unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours which are taking some time to shift – cue Alice!
Recognition is the first step
So this is the 6th month of weigh-ins – and I’ve begun to notice a pattern, no matter what mindset I put myself in, subconsciously I measure my success by the number on the scales. This isn’t new and I have spoken about this before in previous posts…but you know, sometimes it takes a few attempts for the message to sink in.
I woke up this morning, not feeling my best self. I felt a bit bloated and lethargic, generally not motivated to get onto the scales.
There are two reasons I felt like this is:
- I had the most delicious indulgent family meal yesterday – lush! I ate WAY too much, but had a lovely evening sharing good food with the people I love!
- Hormones…ladies you’ll be able to feel my pain in this area. Nothing much I can do about this – but it is helpful to know as it explains some of the symptoms/emotions I have been feeling the past couple of days.
But, it’s the first weekend of the month – I knew that I needed to get on and check-in, just in case I’m pleasantly surprised by a loss (even though this has never been my goal).
I step onto the scales (not wearing my trainers ofc – because that’s going to make such a difference) and I’m presented with exactly the same number as last month! Of course I get on the scales two more times, just in case they were wrong (because you know, that can happen) but the number still said the same thing. My initial thought was – “at least I haven’t put any weight on” then my second thought was “I’m surprised I haven’t lost any weight even though I’ve been running loads”.
Unfortunately Alice was on a roll this morning…and it didn’t stop there. I went into the gym to take my body snaps, and she then proceeded to point out that despite that fact I was looking AMAZING in my new Lucy Locket Loves leggings, she reminded me that I don’t like how my tummy looks.
Most of the time I’m pretty good at catching Alice out and stopping myself from entering the negativity spiral…but this morning I wasn’t so successful.
If in doubt…plank it out!
Thankfully I didn’t have too much time to sit and stew in Alice mode…as Sunday morning is workout morning with Dave…and today was all about the planks! 😫
As always – I felt soo much better after my workout! My focus had shifted completely to technique and pushing myself on each exercise, not giving a toss as to what I looked like doing it (I’m sure I was stunning)! 😂
It brought me right back to the reason why I am doing this in the first place and the benefits I get out of it.
As I was sat eating my post-workout breakfast, I was thinking not only how ridiculous the Alice thoughts were this morning, but also about the amount progress I have made physically. A year ago I would have struggled to hold a plank for 10 seconds, now I can do 8 minutes worth of plank variations.
In the last month, I have also completed the Couch to 5k programme – which in itself is pretty impressive – but I also completed this all by myself. I talk about this in a bit more detail in my Couch to 5k blog post, but essentially this for me was a big deal.
I am getting so much stronger – and this is something that you just can’t quantify by taking a picture or standing on a set of scales. Do you know what else? Once I got showered, dressed and the usual morning get-ready routine…I was feeling FAB! All of the negativities about my body had gone and I was back to loving my fine self! 😉
So – where to go from here?
The challenge I have now isn’t so much about the physical – it’s adjusting the mentality.
Even though it’s proving to be challenging – I’m going to continue to weigh myself each month. I spoke about this last month as well, but the only way I’m going to really improve my relationship with my weight is to not hide away from it. This means, like today, I have to face whatever negative emotions come up and do my best to learn from them.
If I can teach my body to lift weights, hold planks and run for 30 minutes…I can certainly teach my mind to look at things in a different way. I think the work I’m doing around Body Positivity will definitely help with this, and continuing to be mindful and aware when approaching my monthly weigh-in, finding some tactics to help combat the negative thoughts that may come up.
It’s ok to have a little blip every now and again…the key is to keep on going!
