So I wasn’t too sure what to write about this week – but the more time went on, I noticed that there were a couple of themes that kept popping up that I wanted to talk about.
As I mentioned in my previous post – January can be a bit of a hard month. I for one have had a bit of a roller coaster experience so far – some pretty great highs and some tricky lows. As time is going on I’m coming to accept that this is how life goes – you can’t have highs all the time. It’s how you navigate the lows that count! (See my previous post for more about that) http://box5722.temp.domains/~amylouwh/2020/01/12/sorting-my-shit-out-mentally-this-ones-hard/
Prioritising yourself – a little bit of Self Care
This picture really speaks to me today. Something I’m working on for this year…it’s not always easy but soo important. #selfcare#sortingmyshitoutmentally#beingtruetomyself
So some of you may have seen my social media posts yesterday (above for reference). Self-care can come in many forms – whether it be pampering, exercise, spending time with friends… the list goes on. The idea being that self-care enables you to look out for number 1 – YOU!
This is something that I wasn’t very good at focusing on until last year – when circumstances forced me to take a look at my life and habits and as a result, make some changes. I realised I needed to look after myself properly – both physically and mentally – so that I can live my best life!
Last year my focus was predominantly on physical self-care (following my back injury) – but this year I am trying to be much more mindful about what my body AND mind need.
Managing expectations – of myself and others
So there are so many pressures in our lives now, and so many roles that we play. There are lots of things buying for our attention and time, and we forget that first and foremost we have to be there for ourselves.
I am not ashamed to admit that I am a people pleaser – which don’t get me wrong has its benefits. I always like to help people out, build on connections and generally have fun. But on the flip side of that, it can mean that I don’t acknowledge myself or my needs when I need to. I also have this tendency to seek approval/validation from others – which isn’t particularly healthy.
The thing I have come to realise and (start to) accept is that no matter how hard you try – you will never get everyone to like you. There are just too many people and everyone is different. We don’t all like the same food, so how can we expect everyone to like everyone!
Likewise, with the people that are in your life – you will not always get on and you may do stuff sometimes that upsets them or they disagree with. These are things that are, within reason, out of your control. Whilst I wouldn’t ever go out of my way to upset or hurt anyone, you can’t control how other people think and feel – but I can control my actions, how I feel and how I react to things.
I think that with time, as I start to re-focus and figure my shit out – I will be able to better understand what my body and mind need. At the moment I’m not always in tune with myself so it can feel a bit hit and miss.
In terms of managing expectations – all I can do is try to be as honest and authentically me as I can. Not always feeling I have to justify or explain myself – but be content with the fact that I have made the right decision for me and try to communicate that the best way that I can.
Being kind to yourself
Sometimes, even with all the best-laid plans and goals, you hit a slump and changes need to be made.
Along with my people-pleasing tendencies, I am also my own worst critic and can really beat myself up sometimes when I feel bad or guilty. (Meet Alice – more on her another time).
But again, I have realised that sometimes your needs change – what you thought you needed one week isn’t actually what you need on the day – and that’s ok! As the picture says above – it’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes. Putting in some time to look after you will also help improve your relationships too – as you will feel more rested and content and able to give more.
A wise person once told me that you can’t pour from an empty cup – and this is so true. To be able to really give yourself fully to other people, experiences, and life in general – you need to be making sure that you have something to give and therefore investing in you and your wellbeing.
Sometimes we need to venture out to make progress, push ourselves out of our comfort zone, try new things, create new habits. And sometimes what we need is to bring the focus back in and figure out exactly what it is that YOU need.
So in time, I hope that I will be able to better recognise my own needs so that I can clearly communicate that to those around me (better managing expectations), and also be content that the decisions that I make are the right ones for me! This is a bit of a mind re-program for me so I know that it’ll take a little time – but ultimately a positive step to make.
So for this afternoon, I will be painting my nails, listening to music and just generally recharging the batteries. Maybe even start watching The Witcher – because who doesn’t love a bit of Henry Cavill! 😛