“And now you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good! “
John Steinbeck
So here we are again – the first weekend of the month. If you’ve been following this since the start you’ll know it’s time for the monthly weigh-in.
If I’m honest I really wasn’t feeling it today. Not that I was feeling particularly bad or negative about myself or worried about what the scales might say – it was more of an “I’m getting a little bored of this now” thought process.
That in itself really intrigued me. After months of yo-yoing between excitement and dread towards these weigh-ins, I was now faced with a real sense of indifference. Part of the reason I didn’t want to do the weigh-in today was that I felt I didn’t need to – which ofc now writing this it’s clear that I did need to…otherwise I wouldn’t have come to this revelation.
There is no good or bad
As I stepped on the scales (you know – 3 times just to make sure the numbers don’t suddenly change) I felt relaxed and calm. There was no fidgeting to see if I could make the numbers lower, no inner monologue trying to justify the results – just an observation of what the numbers said.
My mum turned to me after and said “So, is it good or bad?” my reply was “There is no good or bad“. We both chuckled and then proceeded to have a really good chat about it.
She asked me why I was doing this, and after talking about it it made me realise just how much my thought process and mentality around this have changed since I started in January.
I’ve always said from the start that it wasn’t about weight loss – but if I’m honest with myself, somewhere deep down I think I had hoped that I would still have this magical transformation. This became really apparent when I started to have the inevitable negative Alice chatter whenever I put on any weight or didn’t make the expected loss that I “should have done”.
I have had a transformation – just not a solely physical one. t’s not been easy, and I’ve had to face some pretty harsh truths about the way I think about myself along the way – but it has been so worth it!
Today – it honestly wouldn’t have mattered if the scales had said 12st or 20st – I still love my body regardless and know that the numbers on that scale do NOT define my worth, my health or my happiness.
Breaking out of the mould
We have been sold this idea of “the perfect body” for such a long time. The idea being that if we achieve this aesthetic then life will suddenly be amazing and you’ll get everything you could ever want! I bought into that propaganda for such a long time, and until I started this journey I had never really realised just how much of a negative impact that had on my life.
But now I’m pleased to report that I have a different relationship with my body. I respect it for all that it does, I admire all that it can do and above all… celebrate that it is uniquely mine! I am feeling the best I have felt probably ever in my life and love the skin I’m in. My body makes me one of a kind, and I LOVE that! Who else would I ever want to be?
What next?
I’ve made a commitment and I’m going to stick to it – I’ve decided that I’m going to continue with my monthly weigh-ins until the end of the year. Each month always seems to bring up something new for me to look into and learn about further.
After that? I’ll probably bring it back to 3-4 times a year at most. I’ve always said that I’m not going to be doing this long term but I’m finding it such a useful process right now.
I also hope that by doing this it will start to open up more open conversations like the one I had with my mum today about body image and weight – so that it doesn’t become this big scary monster that we never talk about.
Now I know that there are a lot of people out there that may struggle with this way of thinking – that’s ok – you’ve gotta do you.
If you feel you want/need to lose weight, that’s fine but take a moment to really think about your motives behind it! Why do you feel you need to lose weight? What is it that you hope to achieve? Is this a short term fix or a long term change? Is it going to bring more positivity and happiness to your life?
I fully support that people need to feel comfortable in the skin that they’re in and that if you’re unhappy then definitely get up and do something about it. But you know, we don’t need to starve and torture ourselves to conform to other people’s perceptions of how we should be – it should ultimately come down to how YOU feel about yourself.
Remember that “perfect” is subjective – what is perfect for one person could be the total opposite for another. So rather than chasing perfect – embrace the imperfect and aim for good.
I think good is a very good place to start! 😊